A Night in the Life of Griffin

The night routine started with the usual rituals: reading to them, baths and pajamas, and getting them into their slumber. Gretchen put Hudson, Kaily, Everest and Griffin in their rooms and with some outbursts, they finally fell asleep. Another long day, Gretchen sighs as she puts away some of the clutter.


In the triplets room is Hudson and Kailey. Hudson is balled up in his crib breathing steadily. Kai-Kai sprawled on top of twenty of her favorite stuffed animals in her crib. Everest is asleep on mommy and daddy's bed. Griffin in the same room as Kuya Everest. They both love to fall asleep in front of the T.V.. Its a bad habit, Gretchen thinks to herself, I have to break them out of this. But, this is how it needs to be for now. When Griffin goes to the hospital for medications or an overnight observation, the television is what comforts him in the strange room. These small conveniences become Gretchen and Jon's salvation when their emotions are close to their limits.


Gretchen looks at the clock and sees that it is 935pm. She takes a mental note that in about twenty minutes they will start. Nightly, Jon and Gretch give Griffin his chemo medicine. It has to be at night because when he's awake, he fights it. They've tried a hundred ways to trick him into taking the medicine including gummy bears and juice. All attempts end horribly. Griffin defiantly spits it out or vomits or fights with all his strength to not swallow. They were told by the doctors that this medicine tastes exceedingly horrible. Not to mention, it makes the kids feel very sick. Kids learn to associate this yucky stuff with feeling yucky. Better to just feed it to Griffin at night, when he's too sleepy to fight.


It is now 10pm. Gretchen calls out "Jon it's time."

Gretchen watches as he puts on his rubber gloves. Taking his cue, she puts on her gloves. They must wear gloves to protect themselves when handling this stuff because it is highly toxic. Jon explained to Gretchen many times why it is so bad and if it gets on your skin it will make you very sick with stomach ache and dizziness. Sadly I have to feed this poison to my son. Gretch quickly pushes the sad thought out of her mind.


Jon and Gretch switch off evenings to make the concoction of different medicines. It is Jon's turn tonight. Jon talks himself through the concoction. "A tablet of 6-MP. One tablet of Prevacid to aid in preventing the massive stomach irritation or ulcers due to the chemotherapy. Decadron. A little bit of water." Jon shakes well.


They both go into the bedroom. They see Griffin lying there peacefully. His infant snoring and the audio from the T.V. are the only sounds in the room. The bluish light from the television allows them to see Griffin's crib. He must be in their room because he needs to sleep by them in case he has a reaction. They want to be there to hear him and quickly nurse whatever needs he has. With Griffin in their room they spare the kids in the other room from sleepless nights hoping to give even a little normalcy to their lives.


Jon lifts Griffin out of the crib and lays him on a makeshift bedding on the floor. This is strategic because they need the wrestling room. Jon begins to change his diapers. The movement rouses Griffin and he begins to whine. He knows what is coming. After his diapers are changed, Jon lays Griffin in Gretchen's arms.


Sleepy and agitated, Griffin says "Papa no..." Griffin's whining is getting louder. Gretchen begins to tighten her hold around Griffin. Jon puts the syringe containing the concoction in Griffins mouth. "NO!!" Griffin starts to fight. "No," he gurgles. He hears his mommy saying "Its ok Griffy, its ok." He is crying loudly now and fighting to free himself from mommy. Jon has to slowly inject the medicine so Griffin can swallow it. If they put too much, he'll spit it out or choke.


"Swallow!" Jon tries to be strong.


"You got to do this now so you can go back to sleep" comforts mommy.


Griffin is fighting hard and crying loudly. "No, no, no." Gretchen tries her best to keep him calm. There are times when he works himself up so much that he vomits it all up. On those nights they have wait until he falls back asleep, until he's calm, and try all over again. One night, it took them three tries and woke up the others. That was a hard night.


They go through a flood of emotions in these few minutes that seems like 100 years. They are drained by the emotions of frustration, anger at the disease, fatigue, sadness for their son, asking God why? But they must force him to take the medicine. "You have to drink it!" Griffin must drink this poison so he will win over this...


Finally the last of it is swallowed. Griffin is whimpering in bed falling back asleep. He is back in his crib. Mommy wipes his face while Daddy cleans up the bedding and wipes. Thank God. The medicine was administered successfully. Gretchen thinks over the past few nights. Last Tuesday was one of the easier nights. Tonight I would gauge it at medium difficulty, she thinks to herself. Tomorrow night we'll do it again. Lord, please, don't let tomorrow be like last Friday. And she looks ahead thinking this will be our nightly routine for the next three years, until 2010...